Welcome to Row Z, The Athletic<\/em>\u2019s weekly column that shines a light on the bonkers side of the game.<\/p>\n From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every week we\u2019ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the sport we all love\u2026<\/p>\n March 3, 2018: A Before its inception, there is already opposition to VAR, but IFAB assures the world it will \u201cincrease integrity and fairness in the game\u201d.<\/p>\n Sounds good! If the process is swift, decisive and eradicates glaring errors, we\u2019re all for it.<\/p>\n But hang on, just to double check, there\u2019s going to be an incredibly high bar for VAR intervening in decisions, right? We don\u2019t want the game being stopped for minutes at a time to check basic things like offside or handballs. That would be absolutely dreadful for the flow, entertainment and feeling of the whole sport for match-going fans.<\/p>\n No wait, looks like IFAB has got it covered: \u201cThe philosophy of VARs is \u2018minimum interference \u2014 maximum benefit\u2019 which aims to reduce unfairness caused by \u2018clear and obvious errors\u2019 or \u2018serious missed incidents\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n Phew! Looks like our sport is safe in the hands of our governing bodies. Hurray for IFAB! Hurray for football!<\/p>\n February 28, 2026: Play stops for two minutes and 53 seconds to determine if Burnley\u2019s Jaidon Anthony is offside in the build-up to a goal that would have put his side 4-3 up, having been 3-0 down to Brentford.<\/p>\n Also February 28, 2026: Play stops for five minutes to determine if Ashley Barnes handles the ball before scoring a goal that would make it 4-4 in stoppage time.<\/p>\n Also, also<\/em> February 28, 2026: IFAB brings in new VAR rules meaning yellow cards and corners can be checked during matches.<\/p>\n Still, as these measures were introduced in a press release which says in its title that IFAB\u2019s ideas will improve match flow, we have every faith in the lawmakers of the game that football matches will speed up and get much better, if anything. Hurrah for IFAB!<\/p>\n February 16, 2027: IFAB announces that all throw-in decisions will be checked by VAR. And all free kicks. And whether the coin was tossed in the correct manner before kick-off.<\/p>\n In a momentous week for Wolverhampton Wanderers, who earned just their second victory of the season to keep Derby County\u2019s record of 11 points in a season intact, the main talking point amongst the team\u2019s followers on social media wasn\u2019t about Rob Edwards\u2019 tactical nous or Joao Gomes\u2019 nicely-taken opening goal.<\/p>\n No, there were several posts doing the rounds about the price that a Wolves golf club cover was being sold for in the club shop.<\/p>\n What\u2019s the matter babe? You\u2019ve barely used your \u00a350 Wolves Blade Putter Cover <\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 Nick Goff (@nickgoff79) February 24, 2026<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Only \u00a350 ($67) for a scorecard holder? Bargain, we\u2019ll have two.<\/p>\n Anyway, Wolves are certainly not the only offenders here. Near neighbours Aston Villa also sell golf club covers for the same price, although their golf scorecards are only \u00a315.<\/p>\n Peruse the online club shops of every single Premier League club and it won\u2019t take you long to discover weird, even unhinged, items for sale, proving football fans really will buy anything. And clubs will do anything to rinse them.<\/p>\n For example, when was the last time you looked at your three-in-one phone charging cable and thought; \u2018Gosh, I wish my club sold one of these with the badge on for \u00a315\u2019? Well, if you\u2019re a Bournemouth fan, this is your lucky day<\/a>.<\/p>\n Like your air to be nice and diffused? Sure you do. But how about diffused air, Brighton & Hove Albion style<\/a>?<\/p>\n Honestly, these clubs will sell anything. For all your branded premium leather laptop bag needs, Arsenal do a branded premium leather laptop bag<\/a>. That\u2019ll be \u00a3140, by the way. At the other end of the market, have a Chelsea dual-action pump for a fiver<\/a>.<\/p>\n For the stressed-out Newcastle United fan in your life, gift them a\u2026 stress ball<\/a>although if Newcastle is the thing that is causing the problem in the first place, having the club badge on the ball invites a never-ending cycle of stress and relief.<\/p>\n Plenty of Manchester United fans have surely been driven to drink by the team\u2019s many hilarious failures in recent years, so it\u2019s no wonder they sell United hip flasks<\/a>while for absolutely no reason whatsoever, here\u2019s a Liverpool rubber duck<\/a>.<\/p>\n Unsurprisingly, Fulham go up-market with a candle<\/a> for \u00a335, while for the Leeds United fan who has absolutely everything, here\u2019s a wipe-clean table cover<\/a> which, frankly, has to be seen to be believed.<\/p>\n Why on earth would you buy the popular family game Connect Four when instead you can buy the \u2018Manchester City 4 in a Row Game<\/a>\u2018, in which every single coin is blue.<\/p>\n You know when you purchase a car and you\u2019re asked by the salesperson if you want the car mats thrown in for free? \u201cNo thanks mate, I buy mine<\/a> at the Everton club shop.\u201d<\/p>\n Are you even a proper Brentford fan if you don\u2019t own Brentford sweatbands<\/a>?<\/p>\n Are you even a dog who supports Aston Villa<\/a>, Sunderland<\/a>, Nottingham Forest<\/a> or Burnley<\/a> if you don\u2019t eat out of a bowl with the club\u2019s crest on it?<\/p>\n Like the West Ham United defence, this thong<\/a> doesn\u2019t cover much.<\/p>\n Pretend you\u2019re a Crystal Palace employee, not just a fan, by wearing this Palace lanyard<\/a> around your neck.<\/p>\n And for \u00a337, here\u2019s Tottenham Hotspur Monopoly<\/a>,\u00a0where the card (probably) says; \u2018Go to jail, to avoid having to watch Spurs\u2019.<\/p>\n Finally this week, after the Hollywood takeover at Wrexham and Tom Brady getting involved at Birmingham City, surely nothing can reflect the changing face of the EFL more than a meeting of minds between Snoop Dogg and Paul Heckingbottom.<\/p>\n \n Snoop Dogg was in attendance for Swansea\u2019s game against Preston (Dan Mullan\/Getty Images)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n The Preston North End manager was asked if there was anything different about the occasion after his team were part of co-owner Snoop Dogg\u2019s first visit to Swansea since getting involved with the club last summer.<\/p>\n \u201cI think just the smell of weed in the tunnel is the only thing where we realised something was different,\u201d Heckingbottom said in a press conference<\/a>.<\/p>\n Swansea\u2019s manager Vitor Matos was asked in his press conference for his view on Heckingbottom\u2019s comments.<\/p>\n \u201cThe only thing to say is that their chairman was probably happy as well taking selfies with Snoop,\u201d he said. \u201cSo I have nothing to say about that, so all good.\u201d<\/p>\n After Preston conceded a stoppage-time equaliser, reports that a noticeably relaxed Heckingbottom told his players to \u201cchill out, lads\u201d are unconfirmed.<\/p>\n<\/div>\nA step too VAR?<\/h2>\n
great<\/del> day for football as the International Football Association Board (IFAB) announces<\/a> the introduction of video assistant referees into the sport.<\/p>\nThe weird and wonderful world of the club shop<\/h2>\n
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\u2018The smell of weed in the tunnel\u2019<\/h2>\n
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